Trying to go back to Neverland
by Midnightdreamr
Summary: Mr. Barrie hasn't been getting the inspiration any more. He hasn't been living in the dream that he once lived in. Can he go back to that dream before his inspiration is lost for ever?


Trying to go back to Neverland: J.M. Barries Journey back.

Chapter One: A question and a sudden illness...,

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Finding Neverland' or any of the characters of the movie. Or even J.M. Barrie for that matter!

A/n- This is my first Finding Neverland story, because I just recently watched the movie. I hope that eveyone likes it! All reviews appreciated! All flames are used on the campfire to make smores! YUMM!

Summary: Mr. Barrie hasn't been getting the inspiration any more. He hasn't been living in the dream that he once lived in. Can he go back to that dream before his inspiration is lost for ever?

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Mr. Barrie sat where he always sat, on the bench in the park. His writing book in hand, but the problem was he had nothing to write about. It had been two months since Sylvia's death, and the family was getting better. He looked up to see the four boys playing with his dog Porthos. He smiled as he remembered the day when he performed for the family for the first time.

Soon his mind floated back to the present. He was still heart-broken. The children was better. That was a relief. It took him a while to get them to do anything. Now it took them a while to get him to do anything. He smiled as Peter walked over to him.

"Peter my boy, what can I do for you?" James asked.

Peter motioned for the other boys to come over. When they were over there George spoke up. "We were wondering if you would let us call you father."

The words hit James like a rock. He felt the pain tear at his heart, but the joy was welling up inside. "I-I-I..." James didn't know what to say. "We'll have to see. Just give me some time." He smiled at the boys. What was wrong with him just being 'Uncle Jim'?

"Allright. I suppose you can have some time." George sighed while grabbing his brothers so they could go play, but he stayed behind and talked with James.

"Uncle Jim?" George asked.

"Yes?" James replied.

"Why do you not want to be our father? Do you not love them anymore?" He asked.

James was heartbroken at this. "Yes, I love you still. What made you think that?"

"Then why do you not want to be our father?"

"I do, I really do, I just don't know if..." James started but George cut him off.

"Yes, we are ready for the change. Peter! Jack! Micheal! Come here! Mr. Barrie has something to say!" George called.

James put his head in his hands. How did he get himself into this? What would Emma say? He looked up at the boys, his face was drained of it's color, and he was shaking. His heart felt like it was going to thump out of his chest. What was wrong with him?

"What is it Uncle Jim?" Peter asked. "Is there something wrong? You do not look so well."

George looked at James and saw this as well. "Are you sick?" He asked while putting a hand to James' forhead. "Come on boys, let's get him home."

"Boys, boys, I'm fine." James replied. Too bad he couldn't show them that. It seemed like they wasn't listening either.

"Micheal and George ran to get the doctor for you when we get home. Jack is going to help me with you." Peter replied.

James looked at the worried eyes of Peter. "I am fine my boy." He replied, but the look on Peter and Jack's face there was no telling them that.

"Allright, allright." James sighed while getting up. He might as well get an examination..., if it would make the boys happy anyway.

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Doctor Brighton had been in the room with James for quite some time now. Emma was outside of his room with the boys. Each seemed as worried as the next. Soon the door opened and the doctor came out. He looked at Emma, and motioned her to come over to him. She reluctantly stood and walked over to him.

"What is wrong with James?" She whispered.

"He had a panic attack it seems." The doctor replied. "He should be better in a few days with the proper food and rest." He smiled at the boys. "Have a good evening."

"What is wrong?" George asked. The boys scurried around the grandmother.

"He just has a little illness. He will be fine with rest, I assure you." Emma replied. She smiled at the boys who were running into James' room.

She walked over and knocked on the door herself, before entering. When she did enter she saw the boys around the pale-faced James.

"Are you allright?" Peter asked.

"Yes Peter I am allright." James smiled. "The doctor said I needed to eat soup and rest for a few days, but other than that I am fine."

Peter smiled, but did not seem so confident in what James had said. "Would you like for me to fetch your book?" he asked.

"Peter! Uncle James needs to rest. He doesn't need to be doing his work right now. Let him rest before he goes back to his laboring." Emma scolded.

"I am afraid that your grandmother is right. Let me rest then I can write more in my book." He replied.

Peter sunk down on the bed beside James. George, who was now standing at the foot of the bed, smiled at James. "Is there anything that I can do for you?" George asked.

"I could use some more blankets, if you do not mind me-boy." James replied while pulling the blanket that he had up under his chin.

"Yes, indeed you do need more blankets. George, you and the boys go and fetch some, we do not want him to catch a chill." Emma replied.

George and the others left to get more blankets. Emma sat down and looked at him. "So, James, the doctor said that you had a panic attack."

James nodded. "Aye. I did."

"What caused this?"

"I do not know. Maybe the stress of my job." He replied.

"Oh." Emma replied.

"I should be well again in a few days, but please, do not mention this to the boys." James shivered while gripping the blanket firmly.

"You look terrible." Emma said.

"Thanks." James grimaced when a pain shot up to his heart. He felt like he couldn't breathe again. He then took in some labored breaths.

"James! James! Calm down! Calm down!" Emma yelled.

James calmed down and took some deep breaths. He soon was fine, he felt greatful when he felt the air go into his lungs that caused them to sting. He sighed and closed his eyes as he gasped at the pain.

"The children can not see you like this." Emma sighed her voice barely above a whisper. "They can not bare the greif of loosing yet another."

"Nor can I stand letting them. I will be allright Emma, I shall be fine." James said while leaning back against his pillows.

"What should I do?" Emma asked.

"Just act normal. I shall be fine in a few days." James replied.

"Allright, I will go and put supper on for you and the boys. Call if you need anything." Emma replied. She then left the room and walked down the hall.

James sighed while closing his eyes, he needed to rest, and he welcomed the darkness thankfully as in engulfed him, and he felt pain no more.

"Uncle Jim! We brought you some blankets!" Peter called while him and the others ran into the room. George put a hand on Peter's shoulder.

"Shh!" George whispered while covering James up then leading them out of the room.

To be continued...,

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Well there was the first chapter! I hope that you guys enjoyed! Please review! Thanks for reading!

KerowynGreenleaf.


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